pink doughnuts

Homer Ipsum

Doh! You can have all the money in the world, but there’s one thing you will never have… a dinosaur. Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. Marge, try to understand. There are two types of college students, jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time. Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. Roads are just a suggestion Marge, just like pants. English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England. I wish God were alive to see this. I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel. If he’s so smart, how come he’s dead? I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman. I never apologize… I’m sorry but that’s the way I am. I like my beer cold… my TV loud… and my homosexuals flaming. I’m like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed? If I could say a few words… I would be a better public speaker.

Even communism works… in theory. Marge it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money? I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich. What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway. Marge, try to understand. There are two types of college students, jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time. Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?

If God didn’t want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin. If he’s so smart, how come he’s dead? Marge, try to understand. There are two types of college students, jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time. Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out. The problem in the world today is communication… too much communication. It’s so simple to be wise… just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it. When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! I like my beer cold… my TV loud… and my homosexuals flaming.

A woman is a lot like a refrigerator: 6 feet tall, 300 pounds… it makes ice. Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs. Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover. Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races. Vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins and Eskimos. Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel. It’s so simple to be wise… just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it. I never apologize… I’m sorry but that’s the way I am. Marge, you know it’s rude to talk when my mouth is full. To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems. I never apologize… I’m sorry but that’s the way I am. I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.