pink doughnuts

The Simpsons Ipsum Text Generator

Doh! Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs. What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway. Roads are just a suggestion Marge, just like pants. Operator! Give me the number for 911! It’s so simple to be wise… just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it. You can have all the money in the world, but there’s one thing you will never have… a dinosaur. I wish God were alive to see this. You can have all the money in the world, but there’s one thing you will never have… a dinosaur.

It’s so simple to be wise… just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it. Operator! Give me the number for 911! Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that volunteers don’t even get paid for the stuff they do? Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out. I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. Marge it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. We can outsmart those dolphins. Don’t forget – we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, and the pudding cup. Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races. If I could say a few words… I would be a better public speaker.

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races. If he’s so smart, how come he’s dead? Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money? If it doesn’t have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair. I like my beer cold… my TV loud… and my homosexuals flaming. If I could say a few words… I would be a better public speaker. If God didn’t want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin. Marge it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover. I like my beer cold… my TV loud… and my homosexuals flaming.

I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman. Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money? Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel. A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. I think the saddest day of my life was when I realised I could beat my dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four. When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! If God didn’t want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin. Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover. If it doesn’t have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.

Just sit through this NRA meeting Marge, and if you still don’t think guns are great then we’ll argue some more. If he’s so smart, how come he’s dead? I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman. Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? Marge, try to understand. There are two types of college students, jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time. I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.