pink doughnuts

The Simpsons Ipsum Text Generator

Doh! I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. I think the saddest day of my life was when I realised I could beat my dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four. What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway. Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out. English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England. Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?

I think the saddest day of my life was when I realised I could beat my dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four. Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that volunteers don’t even get paid for the stuff they do? To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems. I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. Vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins and Eskimos. What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway. My beer! You never had a chance to become my urine! Roads are just a suggestion Marge, just like pants. A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. I hope I didn’t brain my damage. To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems. I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.

The problem in the world today is communication… too much communication. Operator! Give me the number for 911! Trying is the first step towards failure. Marge, you know it’s rude to talk when my mouth is full. A woman is a lot like a refrigerator: 6 feet tall, 300 pounds… it makes ice. Roads are just a suggestion Marge, just like pants. To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems. Marge, try to understand. There are two types of college students, jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time. I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway.

It’s so simple to be wise… just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it. You’re everywhere. You’re omnivorous. We can outsmart those dolphins. Don’t forget – we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, and the pudding cup. If he’s so smart, how come he’s dead? I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich. Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. Roads are just a suggestion Marge, just like pants.

I wish God were alive to see this. Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves. Marge it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. I’m like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed? I never apologize… I’m sorry but that’s the way I am. Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover. Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that volunteers don’t even get paid for the stuff they do?