Ipsum options
Doh! I like my beer cold… my TV loud… and my homosexuals flaming. I’m like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed? Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races. I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich. You’re everywhere. You’re omnivorous. I think the saddest day of my life was when I realised I could beat my dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four. Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races. If God didn’t want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin.
You can have all the money in the world, but there’s one thing you will never have… a dinosaur. Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover. Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? Marge, try to understand. There are two types of college students, jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time. Even communism works… in theory. I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races. My beer! You never had a chance to become my urine! If I could say a few words… I would be a better public speaker. Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
The problem in the world today is communication… too much communication. I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel. I never apologize… I’m sorry but that’s the way I am. Roads are just a suggestion Marge, just like pants. Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover. A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator.
I think the saddest day of my life was when I realised I could beat my dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four. It’s so simple to be wise… just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it. If God didn’t want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin. I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that volunteers don’t even get paid for the stuff they do?
We can outsmart those dolphins. Don’t forget – we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, and the pudding cup. I think the saddest day of my life was when I realised I could beat my dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four. Even communism works… in theory. Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel. I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. You can have all the money in the world, but there’s one thing you will never have… a dinosaur.